What to say

I'm writing this on my iPhone durin my planning period at work, so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.
So last week wasn't a good week for me. I only went to Jazzercise once and I actually gained a pound. It's totally my fault and I feel like I'm back on track now. Most of last week I suffered from ocular migraines and didn't feel like doing much at all. I had pizza one night and Sat. Night I fixed a meatloaf. I am not happy with myself, but like I said, I'm back on track since yesterday. I went to Jazzercise yesterday and ate healthy. I still am drinking water daily and have not ha any regular sodas of any kind, so that's good.
Sometimes Ijust feel like I just don't know how to do all this. I think I am eating healthier and getting exercise, but am I doing it correctly.
I am still proud of myself in many ways, but find myself getting impatient. Though I have to admit, the lifestyle changes are becoming more routine. Maybe I ask for too much too quickly.
I need to pray to God for strength, support and diligence.
I don't know why I feel this way. Deron has been very supportive and my wonderful friends have been to. I guess I need to find that inner strength, but how? This does not mean in anyway that I am giving up in this battle. I will not quit.

TS and Pelvic exams.... For Women Only

   Over the past 10 years, I've had several pelvic exams (my last one was yesterday afternoon). For a TS woman this is usually a very interesting and  funny situation. The first time I had one, the tech gets started on the exam and I begin to notice she's taking a llllooonnnggg time. I can tell she's looking and looking and looking for something. Finally, after a good 20 minutes or so, I ask, "Is everything OK". She says, "I can't find your ovaries", to which I replied, "Good luck there, you're not going too either.". I then offered to educate the woman on Turner Syndrome. She continued with, "Just to be sure, I'll be right back". After about 15 minutes, she returns with another tech (one I'm assuming that is over her), who continues the exam and says, "I can't find it either".  After 10 more minutes of the exam and trying to explain to the both of them, they finally ended the exam and I left.
    Needless to say after that experience, I let the tech know first thing before he/she starts the exam. I tell them that I have Turner Syndrome and that they won't see much "in there". The tech's only response to me yesterday was, "Wow, you're right"- lol. 

Just another reason why doctors and others in the medical field need to be educated more on Turner Syndrome.
   

Still going!!!

Sorry it's been awhile since I've blogged. I feel like I should be making a confession to a priest or something.
Anyways, though I haven't felt very great this week and I've only done Jazzercise once so far this week, I have lost 11 pounds so far. I can tell the Jazzercise is paying off in my legs ( no more rubbing together) and I'm starting to get my oval shaped face back slowly but surely. I love it!! I'm still eating healthy and keeping busy.
Like I've said I haven't been feeling too great this week. I think I pulled a muscle in my back at Jazzercise (which is better now by the way) and I've had some female issues related to HRT( I'm hoping). I did have two dr's apt's Yesterday. The first apt. was my new primary care dr., who just happens to be a college friend of Deron's. Let's just say that Deron's friend and I became practically close enough to be married in some states after that apt.( she did a pelvic exam and another exam, then sent me down the road for a pelvic ultrasound). Yep, we became pretty close - lol.
My 2nd apt. was with the dentist. I found out the damage drinking regular sodas has done on my teeth. I also may have to have a root canal in a couple of weeks. If you've ever had a root canal, please let me know what it was like- please!! I'm terrified and have major dental fear.well...I'm at school and need to go. Have a great day everyone.

A Confession

Okay.. I have a confession to make to everyone.. I ATE CHIPOTLE last night. I felt very guilty. My stomach was nauseous all day and I didn't feel like cooking anything when I got home. Anyway, I'd promised Deron that we could eat Chipotle every other week, as long as that was the ONLY place we ate out for the entire week. I got a chicken burrito and I know that I need to figure out a healthier choice there ( I don't like the Burrito Bowl). Even though I didn't eat the best dinner yesterday, I still have NOT had any regular soda, since I started my diet. And that means a lot to me. If it means anything, I spent  a lot of the evening suffering from GI issues- UGHHHH.
     Anyways, I have done EXCELLENT today. I drank all my water, went to Jazzercise, and ate well today!! Here's what I had today:

Breakfast- 2 Bananas

Lunch- part of an Apple, a few fat free crackers (not Saltine), and a couple slices of min-turkey sausage (no carb)

Dinner- Once Deron gets home, I'm making EggBeaters for the both of us. Topped with a little cheese and may have 2 slices of bacon (going low carb here)

Back on Track and Week 1 over

Well.. SUCCESS!!! I've lost 8 lbs. I now weigh 166 lbs. But even better than that to me, I have 't had regular soda,eaten fast food and been too lazy.
   I went to the grocery store today (good thing since we're expecting a snow storm tom.). I don't know what smells better than a bag of mixed apples (I bought 1 yellow,1 red and 1 green- what can I say, I couldn't decide). YUMMMY! One of the things I'm trying to come up with are ideas for snacks. I don't have trouble coming up with meals. I just would love to come up with some good ideas for snacks between meals. I'm not much of a sweet person. I did buy some string cheese at the store and I know that'll make a great snack. So if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to pass it on.
  THANKS AGAIN FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!

NOt the best day!!

I have to say today has been one of the toughest days yet. The snow and cold made me want to stay in bed , so I didn't any exercise. Feeling BLAH...Also not happy that I had gained a pound since Wed. I think it was the chili  that I had on Thursday and the smothered chicken I had Friday night. I just probably ate too much. UGH>>>>>> However, I stuck to my guns today. I drank all my water and didn't let it get the best of me today. Tomorrow, it should be better out and I'll go to Jazzercise. I didn't break down and pig out and drink regular soda, so that is good. It's just very frustrating and I don't want to fail. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

What I Want.

Well... like most of us, I want a lot of things. To be more adventurous,travel the world, have money, etc..., but I'm talking about what I want out of losing weight. So I've decided to make a list..

What I want:
1. To feel my hips!
2.To NOT have my thighs rub together
3. To be able to wear a sleeveless shirt
4.To fit into clothes that aren't size XL or L (unless it's children sizes- you TS sistas can relate)
5. To push myself even when I get frustrated and  continue taking Jazzercise.
6. To look decent in a bathing suit and NOT be so paranoid about what I look like
7. To stop taking my blood pressure medicine
8. To find a dress that I can wear and look good in
9. To have Michelle Obama arms- lol
10. To gain the knowledge and power to eat healthy and make the best choices.

Will try to write more later. I had a couple of slices of bacon and egg beaters for breakfast. And I plan on making a low carb recipe- Smothered Chicken later for dinner. Can't wait. Going to even get out the Geroge Foreman to grill the chicken- lol

Temptation..."My name is Sara Lundy and I'm a sodaholic".

I woke up this morning expecting to be sore from my Jazzercise class, but I woke up feeling better than I had in a long time. I loved it! I am going to take it a little easy tonight. After I've finished my chores (dishes, laundry,taking care of the liter box,etc) ,I may do the Wii Fit for a bit and I still plan to go for a walk after dinner. I've really come to enjoy my walks after dinner.
      I don't know how many people will agree with me, but you CAN become addicted to Soda. My main addiction for years has been Coca Cola. Let me explain and give you a little background.  From early on (I"m talking 2 or 3), I have been a soda drinker. I have family members that remember me at 3 or 4, asking for  "Peppi" ( Pepsi) all the time and I have a picture of me at 4, holding a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi straight up and I'm chugging it down. Now I did change from Pepsi to Coca Cola somewhere between high school and college, but that's not important. What's important is how much it became a part of my life. I, like an alcoholic, had to have a soda in the morning and before I go to bed every day. I would often get yelled out by my parents for spending too much money on soda and drinking all the soda in the house. Even Deron has commented on how much we spend on soda. Now just how much soda could I drink? If I had my freedom to drink as much soda as I liked, I could drink 3-4, 2 liter bottles of Coca Cola.
      Ironically, the DAY I started my diet, I watched a show called, "Freaky Eaters", which was focusing on a woman who was addicted to soda. I was so happy to see that someone had recognized it as a serious issue and had taken it seriously. I related with the lady on the show 100%. But sadly, she kept drinking regular soda and I know that I can't. It's affected my health way too much. It affects not only my weight, but my teeth and energy level as well .I have to make myself drink limited numbers of diet soda every day.

      Now for the reason, why I titled this blog, "Temptation". I hadn't really had any desire for a regular Coke until today. I opened the classroom fridge (a mini fridge) of the teacher I had subbed for the past two days and what do I see... 2 cans of Coca Cola. I so badly wanted to swipe one of those cans and gulp it down as fast as I could. But I didn't , I gruntingly took a drink from my water bottle and pouted to myself for a few minutes. I once read that temptations only last for 12 minutes and that if you can hold out for 12 minutes, it'll pass. Hope that's true. I'm so proud of myself for staying strong. I must keep it up.


   I know I skipped my "What Sara Ate" part of the blog yesterday, but I did do really well yesterday. I had a banana, whole wheat flat-bread with chicken and light Swiss cheese, and I had my leftover Asian Pork w/ corn. Now what about today and this evening.....
 Here you go...

Breakfast- Corn Flakes w/Skim Milk ( I hate whole milk anyways)

Lunch- Half a piece of whole wheat flat bread w/some Lemon pepper hummus and a few carrots.

Dinner- I'm making chili tonight. Pretty healthy though. I use extra lean ground beef, light tomato juice and No crackers. May put a little cheese in it though. We'll see.

Jazzercise and Inspriation from Pink and Barbra.

Well.... I did it. I went to my first Jazzercise class. It was so much fun. My body feels great. I absolutely loved it. It felt great to dance and move again. I think I loved the weight training part the best. I struggled following the jumps and moves some, but no one cared. It was just a lot of fun. The staff and everyone else was wonderful to me. Def. can't wait to go at it again. Grant it.. my body may not feel that way tomorrow. I will go back on Thursday for another class and then maybe on Sunday for a third one. We'll see. I may just start with 2 classes per week and then build up to 3.
      Inspiration- they say can come from  anywhere.  I lately have found myself inspired by the music of Pink, especially the song TROUBLE. It just gets me moving- lol. Another source of inspiration has come from the Barbra Streisand's movie, The Mirror Has Two Faces. I love the part where Barbra's character transforms herself from a frumpy lady to a sexy woman. She comes to realize that she did it  for herself, not for a man and that the changes needed to come from within. In the movie, she says she never felt pretty and that finally she found what that felt like to be pretty and have people notice her. We all need to find that love, self-worth and strength from within to make changes in our life.
    Now of course, my biggest source of inspiration has come from all my friends and family, who's supporting me 100%. I can't tell you how much that means to me.
    It's so funny that even after less than a week of dieting, I am starting to feel different. I feel better, I've started to get more energy, and I have a more positive outlook on life. I feel I can do it!!!!!

The Past

The past makes us what we are in the present, so I've always believed... So in order to make peace and accept the past, I'm going to write about my past struggle with my weight.
   My weight became a struggle with me,when I turned 14 and my Pediatric Endocrinologist (the doc I saw for my TS), told me for the first time that I needed to start losing weight. I don't think my mom was too concerned at that time and after I may have tried eating healthier foods for awhile (don't really remember). Anyways, that's when the paranoia about my weight and self-conscience began. After that apt. I was always asking myself, "Am I fat?", "Does everyone else think I'm fat". It was always in the back of my mind. Now I may have weighed 100 lbs. at that time and looking back on it, I don't think I was that heavy. So this became the routine every other month when I had to see Dr. Zanganeth at  the Charleston Women and Children's Hospital. He would constantly tell me I lose weight and that any breast tissue I was getting was "fat". I guess I just began to not care and soon found myself going to college and working part time at K-Mart. This was when the fast food eating began. I would grab something quick to eat on the way home from school or work . It didn't help that a Long John Silver's  was next door to where I worked. I started to really pack on the weight and it got up to 160 lbs after my Freshman year at Marshall ( You could say I gained the Freshman 15 plus a lot more).
           In 1995 things started to change. I was fed up. I saw a picture of me hugging my sister at my birthday party and didn't even recognize myself. I knew then, that I had to do something.....That something is a part of my life that very few people know about. I became almost bulimic.  How did it start? Well, it started out with me taking diet pills, exercising constantly when I could, and eating very little. After I lost 20 lbs (in a month), it became harder. So I started taking laxatives. I know it's disgusting. I would take 2 to just get everything out of me ( I wasn't purging though, I was still only eating green beans for dinner and I was still exercising constantly). Many people around me, friends and family kept commenting on how great I looked and how wonderful it was that I was losing all of this weight. So I started taking more diet pills,  more laxatives and exercising more (even going to the gym at Marshall between classes). I got to the point where I could take the laxatives (sometimes 4-6 at a time) and it would make me so nauseous that I would throw everything up. I did force myself to vomit after eating a couple of times, but that never got to be a habit. Anyways, I went from 160 to 94 lbs. I started this diet in Sept/Oct. and I weighed 94 lbs by early March. Dieting consumed so much of my life that I made excuses not to see friends and I never went out. I stayed home and exercised. Finally, I got fed up with it all and just stopped. Of course, I also gained back the weight in the following year. I don't know why I let myself get like that. All I know is that I badly wanted this guy to love me again and felt he'd stopped liking me, because I was fat. And I did get him back during all the dieting, but that relationship faded out and of course I dealt with the pain by eating.Over the years till the present, I have tried dieting (I've tried Atkins and several others to no avail) and exercising, losing 20-30 lbs at times (no drastic ways like before).
    So that is my "dark" past so to speak. I'm not the same person as I was then.NO ONE needs to tell me how terrible it was and what a horrible way to try and lose weight. I know now that you have to eat in moderation and the longer it takes to lose the weight, the better you are able to keep it off. I live with a Dr. who would not allow me to be the way I was. I couldn't do it. Even the thought of being the way I was then exhausts me. It's not who I am now and I'm not going to become that way again. I am going to lose this weight by eating healthy and exercising. NO PILLS or crazy diets at all. To me I know it's a life change  and that it impacts everything.
     Now about today. I did awesome! 45 minutes on Wii fit and a walk after dinner. Drank my 2.2 liters of water and I'm feeling great. Here's what I ate:
Breakfast- Egg Beaters with 2 slices of bacon
Lunch- same as yesterday, without the crackers.
Dinner- Grilled Lemon Pepper Chicken and Lima beans (I LOVE MY LIMAS- lol)

Tomorrow after work, I'm going to go by the Jazzercise class and talk to them about classes. For years I have been wanting to dance (not on a stage or in a recital- just to dance again) and this will be a great way to combine my love of dancing with exercise. Can't wait.


    

Nervous....

To start with .... I feel great..... I've done pretty well so far. But now I'm starting to get nervous. Why? Because tomorrow I go back to work and I know that going back to work is going to make dieting much tougher for me. Yes, I can pack a healthy lunch and keep active at work, but what I'm nervous about is when I get home. I'm usually so tired when I get home that I don't want to do anything. Sometimes I hurry up when and get everything done so by 7:00, I'm lying down in bed.  I want to be able to exercise and walk when I get home this week. So I know that I'm going to need to push myself a little. I DON'T WANT TO FAIL AT THIS!!! Please Lord give me strength.

What Sara Ate

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a huge fan of Saturday Night Live. Well, Gilda Radner often did a commentary on Weekend Update called "What Gilda Ate", where Gilda would share with the audience every minute thing she ate that day. Well this blog is titled "What Sara Ate"..so here it is

Breakfast: 2 bananas

Lunch: A half a piece of whole wheat flatbread with deli sliced chicken and skim Swiss cheese. Heated up in the microwave and folded like a sandwich. I also allowed myself to eat 3 small Fat-Free crackers (not saltines)

Dinner: I fixed an Asian Pork recipe that I found from this website full of great low carb recipes. Here's the link to it  http://genaw.com/lowcarb. Thanks Eliza!! It was very yummy and full of flavor!! I used the crockpot to cook it and instead of 1lb of pork, I  used 2 No Bone Pork Chops. I only ate one of the pork chops. To go with it, I steamed some baby carrots in the rice cooker and put some Parkay butter spray on it (no carbs, calories,fat, etc). May eat the other half of the pork chop in a few days.

Snack- If I get hungry later, I will snack on the raw carrots that I did not steam.

Now other than what I ate, I did exercise today by doing my Wii Dance Party!!! I got better every song I did. I also kept busy by cleaning and putting up more Christmas decorations. And I plan on after I write this, to go for a walk around the complex. Seems like a good night and since the weather may get worse, WHY NOT!!

 I have to say, I feel great and I'm so proud of myself.  I am even thinking about taking Jazzercise classes. I took Jazz from ages 9-14, so it sounds like it would be great for me. I'm hoping I can take it for free, since Dublin Jazzercise gives free classes to those who offer to do Child Care for an hour a week at the facility. Sounds like an even trade to me. This is according to the website though, so tomorrow I will have call and verify.  Wish me luck. It's close to where I work and I'm sure it'd be great exercise for me.

Follow up on 2011 and Day 1

Well... I did great today. Deron and I went to the grocery store and I purchased some healthy foods for me to eat... Now what did I eat today?
    Breakfast- Corn Flakes w/Skim Milk
    Lunch (no lunch- ate a late breakfast)
    Dinner- grilled chicken and corn w/ Diet Coke

I'm very proud of myself. I spent most of the day putting away Christmas decorations,so I wasn't able to do my exercises or Wii. Hopefully tomorrow, I will. I also did very well on drinking water today- I drank 2 and a half liters. I did allow myself several diet sodas though. Feel very good!!!!
THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT EVERYONE!!

OH- and by the way..earlier it should've said that I wouldn't eat out as much and I wanted to lose, not loose weight.

2011

   Hard to believe it's another year and that it's 2011. I have to say that when I was 18, I never saw myself at 34. It seemed impossible. Well..here I am...
  To those who read this blog, you may wonder why I'm starting this blog now. I've never done one before. My reasons are easy- to record my struggles with weight and to show others how  I deal with living  with Turner Syndrome every day of my life.
    I'll start with the TS first, since I feel it affects the other. Being short is difficult! Finding pants that fit and trying to keep your weight down can drive you crazy. Besides that, I am suffering from hearing loss in both ears, which in  itself has been difficult to deal with at times. I find comfort in that many of the TS sistas I've met through Facebook or in person, wear hearing aides. Of course, there are many more problems/issues with TS that I deal with, but I'll discuss those at a later time.
    Now the weight. It's 2011- a brand new year. A new year to start over and make some changes within myself. So with the new year, I am of course like many others making a New Year's Resolution to loose weight. I feel like I don't have a choice. I have to lose it!! I have to do it and make a major life change (if my husband Deron is reading those.. NO that doesn't mean you my love). In the past couple of years, my weight has increased tremendously. I now have high blood pressure, fatigue and I fail to fit in a majority of my clothes. I want to feel better about myself, find clothes that fit comfortably. Those are the reasons I must do this.
    Here comes the hard part- How am I going to do it and what am I going to do? First and foremost- I have to cut out the sugary sodas. Coca Cola is seriously my downfall. It has been for a long time. So I know that I need to drink more water (thanks Eliza for the water bottle idea) and drink Diet sodas (which I'd even like to limit those as well). The second thing I need to do is to not eat out as much. It's so easy to pick up something fast and get something from McDonald's $1 menu or whatever. And when I do eat out at a restaurant, I need to make healthier choices. Third I need to watch my fat intake. Eat more grilled foods (nothing fried) and try to limit my starches (oh, that is going to be a toughie. I love my rice and potatoes) and sugars. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
    Now, those all deal with the ways I want to change my eating/drinking habits. What about exercise?Well... I plan on doing my Wii Fit, Wii Sports and Wii Dance Party games. Doing some fitness videos (possibly something fun like Zumba). Make myself stay out of the bedroom and watch TV in the living room. That will make me get up often and be more active. Other little things I will do is : 1) take stairs more often 2) park farther away in the parking lot so I walk more to get to where I'm going and 3) walk to get the mail and take out the trash. I can walk around the complex more as well on nice days. May even get some dieting tip books and fitness books. And I'll def. be hitting my friend Eliza for some of her amazing low carb recipes. I''m sure I'll come up with more and hopefully I'll jot it down here.

HERE'S MY GOALS:
Lose 20 or more pounds in 2011. My ideal weight for a person my age and height is 95-110 lbs.

Now what do I weigh?? Can't believe I'm sharing this. I weigh 174 lbs. :( Ouch... that was painful.

Please wish me luck and I know I'll need all the support I can get.